


You bring the blanket, I'll provide the wine

by kameo_chan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Casual Sex, F/M, Gen, Het, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:17:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kameo_chan/pseuds/kameo_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four is the number of colleagues Iruka has slept with, and one is the number of friends he hasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Raidou

Iruka is fifteen and hormonal, and everything is bright and new and terrifying. There's blood on his jacket, his hands, his face. Not his own, he has to remind himself. His nerves twitch like live wires; his heart hammers out a frantic tattoo that bubbles up and rumbles from his chest in a whooping fit of laughter.

"Shut up!" Raidou hisses, dragging him down into the thick shrubbery as the enemy nin currently in pursuit rush by overhead in green and grey blurs. It's his first mission without his team or his sensei, with only one of his superiors for company. Iruka's known Raidou for a while now, well enough to know he's a quietly belligerent man with a low tolerance for fucking shit up.

"Fucking up got me this," he had told Iruka once, running a finger across the nasty mess of twisted scar tissue. "So no fucking around on my watch, you got that kid?" It had started as just another routine D-rank mission that had quickly gone south when they'd stumbled on a group of B-rank missing-nin. The scuffle had left two of the enemy ninja wounded and their comrades feeling murderous. Now, Iruka's soaked in his own sweat and someone else's blood and he's never felt this terrified nor this alive.

Raidou is still on lookout when Iruka turns him around and pins him to the leaf-strewn forest floor, catches his lips and kisses him with furious, feverish hunger. "Kid, what the fuck are you-," is all Raidou manages to get out before his eyes shut and his body reacts. When they break apart Iruka is breathless with need and Raidou cups a hand to his mouth and motions for him to stay quiet before divesting himself of his flak jacket and Iruka of his pants.

They tumble underneath the high canopy of the endless forest, hands groping desperately here, there and everywhere at slick skin. Raidou has a shaky hand around Iruka's cock and it's all Iruka can do to keep his voice down. The enemy is still out there somewhere he knows; their chakra signatures are faint but readable. And if he can read theirs, they can read his. For now, silence is their only hope for survival. But it's difficult to focus on a distant danger when his mind is a hazy sex-crazed mess. Up down up down, go the motions of Raidou's hand and Iruka tries counting the intervals between his breathless gasps to try and steady himself.

"Fucking shit kid, you're such a goddamn tease," Raidou whispers against his ear and gives the rim a messy lick, and that's it, that's all she wrote. Iruka comes, hard and fast and hot and the mess splatters his uniform something terrible. Blood and come and sweat, he thinks and then breathes deep, tries to catch the last remnants of his orgasm even as it fades to nothing more than a vague sense of contentment and boneless ease.

"Over there!" a cry suddenly goes up, and Iruka's senses go into overdrive. It's a mad scramble to get up and away even as he reaches for a kunai with one hand and tries to tuck his spent cock back into his underwear with the other.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Raidou urges, already leaping for the nearest branch. Iruka makes it up in time to take off at full sprint just as the first noises of pursuit reach his ears. It takes them half a day to lose the enemy in the neverending gloom of the trees and another two hours before a squad of ANBU arrive to dispatch the intruders. When they finally get back to the village whole and unscathed, Raidou looks at him calmly for a moment before striking out.

Iruka doesn't see the punch coming and that only makes the impact harder. Fist meets flesh and pain explodes from his lower jaw in a magnificent bloom of black and red. "You could've fucking killed us, pulling that kind of shit!" Raidou rants at him, hands gesturing wildly. "What did I tell you about fucking up?!"

"Didn't look like you minded it all that much with your hand on my dick," Iruka mumbles near-incoherently, gingerly trying his jaw and yup, it's definitely dislocated. He sighs, shoves his hands into his pockets and tries not to look like he's in terrible pain. Raidou gives him a long, stern look before doubling over and clutching his stomach. At first Iruka thinks that he's going to be sick or that he's going to pass out, and he's surprised to find a niggle of alarm work its way to the back of his mind. But then his ears catch the quiet chuckles that follow.

"You're a fucking maniac kid, you know that?" Raidou wheezes and clips him on the shoulder, just hard enough to sting a little. Iruka tries to smile as brightly as he can manage what with all the dull throbbing pain and thinks that it's a great day to be fifteen.


	2. Anko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka and Anko - Drunken sex

"You know... You know what you need?" Anko slurs slightly, gesturing at him with her sake cup and accidentally spilling some on the cuff of her coat. "You need sex, my friend. Yes," she intones solemnly and nods once just for good measure. Everything is pleasantly hazy around the edges and Iruka has to crane his neck and lift his head off his arms to meet her eyes.

"You know, you make an excellently valid point," he concurs tipsily, swilling the last gulp of sake in the cup before downing it and breaking wind. "But I - oh excuse me, didn't mean for that one to come out the way it did - I don't know who'd be up for the job. In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of single."

"What a fucking coincidence! So am I!" Anko exclaims merrily and pulls him into a one armed hug. "Hooray for being single!"

"To being single!" Iruka cheers as well, aiming for his sake cup and getting the bottle instead. _Whatever_ , he thinks. _It'll do._

Anko still has her arm around his neck and her breasts are pressing firmly against his side when it suddenly dawns on Iruka that there might be a possible solution to his dilemma.

"How about we fuck each other?" he supplies with a dopey grin and reaches out a hand to grope one of those spectacularly firm breasts. Anko is quiet for a second, as though in serious contemplation.

"Ah fuck it," she says then and guides his hand under her mesh shirt where his fingers instantly migrate toward a taught nipple. "Why the fuck not?"

An hour of drunken stumbling, clumsy groping in seedy alleys and a side-trip back to the bar to retrieve the keys to Iruka's apartment later, he topples Anko artlessly onto his narrow single bed. "Nice place you've got here," she purrs at him before propping herself up on her elbows to lick at the hollow of his throat. "S'cozy."

"Yeah well, it's one of the perks of being a Chunin," Iruka says glibly while tracing the inside of her left leg, letting his hand slide up until it's nestled against her. "Small apartments come standard." He can feel the heat and damp of her sensitive skin radiate against his splayed fingers. It's been years since he's taken a woman to his bed, and Iruka spends the next few moments in quiet stupor as he reacquaints himself little by little with how the female anatomy works.

Anko presses her face into his comforter, cheeks flushed and lips parted as he strokes her through the mesh of her uniform, first gently and then more and more boldly.

"Fuck, Iruka," she grits out. "I'm not a goddamn doll. Finger me or fuck me, but for the god's sake just do something! I can't fucking stand it any longer!" The comment catches him off-guard and before he knows whether he's up or down, Anko flips them so that she's straddling his hips, the shape of her flush against his cock. It only hits him then how painfully hard he is.

Anko gives a frustrated growl, reaches between her legs and yanks. There is a very loud, very audible sound of material tearing clean at the seams and then Anko's slim fingers encircle his cock. Iruka bucks up at the unexpected contact, hands involuntarily gripping Anko's thighs hard enough to bruise.

"Hold on a sec," she murmurs, eyes bright and there's another tearing sound. And then everything turns into dizzying heat and excrutiating tightness as Anko lowers herself onto his cock. The gradual stretch seems to take forever, and she lets out a surprised-sounding "Oh" once he's fully inside her. "Wow," she whispers and leans over him, breasts pressed together and swaying tantalizingly in front of his eyes. "Just... Wow."

"Can I move? Are you okay?" Iruka asks breathlessly, thumbs smoothing over the linen of her skirt. His mouth doesn't seem to want to work and his brain feels like it's short-circuited, but the need to make sure that Anko is alright, that she can handle herself takes precendence.

"I'm right as rain, though I'll be pretty much fucking golden once we start moving, sunshine," she says and gives a somewhat impatient, experimental shimmy of her hips. Iruka wants to laugh at her urgency, but the cant of her hips makes it difficult and in the end, he decides to just give up on rational thought all together in favour of the comfortable drunken buzz he's settled into.

Anko moves, pistons herself up and down on his dick and Iruka breathes deep, reaches a hand into her hair to drag her into a sloppy kiss. She tastes of sake and dango and faint traces of nicotene and Iruka just wants to lose himself in her heat and the intimacy of her body against his.

"This is the first time I've ever fucked with my clothes still on," Anko muses as she leans back and closes her eyes, picks up the rhythm. She is all cat-sleek curves and supple strength and Iruka finds that he cannot keep his hands off her. He's fascinated by the way she reacts to each and every touch. By how he runs a hand along the slant of her ribs and she shifts forward, grinds down on his cock and makes breathy incoherent noises. By how he flicks a nipple and she lifts herself almost completely off him before slamming down hard enough to wrench hoarse cries from him and make black spots dance in his field of vision.

Time seems to slip away in drips and dollops, and Anko fucks him deeper into the bed; rides hard him until the muscles of his stomach quiver and protest and his thighs burn and threaten to knot into charley horses. And just when Iruka thinks that he can't take it anymore, Anko comes with a long, drawn out cry.

She topples onto his chest and stays there for a moment before she reaches down to feel at where they're joined. "You haven't come yet," she whispers into his shoulder.

"Doesn't matter," he tells her and kisses her forehead. "At least we both got laid." And Anko chuckles weakly, even though it's not really funny at all.

"I'm tired," she mumbles and Iruka can feel her already drifting off. Anko isn't heavy, but she's solid - all compact build and sinewy muscle - and Iruka wonders if he should ask her to move. But by the time he decides to ask her she's dead to the world and snoring softly and he doesn't have the heart or the energy to push her off. So he lies like that, with his dick already starting to go limp inside her and the soft warm weight of her body bearing down on him. Eventually, he falls asleep counting the beats of his own heart and listening to Anko's soft snores.


End file.
